– Michael, Pavillon Alumni
I’m so grateful to be able to start my days by saying “Good morning God!” rather than “Good God, it’s morning!” ~ Vivian
As is so often the case in life generally and especially in the realm of Recovery, word order–and emphasis–can radically change the upshot and meaning of just about anything we say or think; especially to ourselves. I don’t know about you, but some of the things I catch myself saying to myself–while (stark raving) sober–are not always the most helpful or kind.
I’m consistently trying to work on why it is I’m often inclined to be so hard on myself. In fact, this seems to be one of the many collateral benefits of slowly but steadily working the 12 Steps. From time to time, in the midst of this journey, I’m asked to stop and recall who I am as well as to consider where I’m heading–even when that destination may be far from clear. Before I began my Recovery process, my past completely controlled my present and my future (the very definition of an unfree life). Now my future dreams (not fears) have the potential to set the tone and direction of my present existence. It seems to me that this attitude is the absolute essence of a liberated and truly creative life.
As often as I need to–even if it’s every morning–I have been given the gift of being able to affirm who I am as a sober person and set my course accordingly, even as I remember with a bit of a shudder the dull sense of dread that used to greet me at the start of each day. What a great change of perspective THAT is!